1. "We're bombing North Korea!" (See East Glacier, MT...two posts back)
2. "I'm sorry, we can't serve you beer, you're not driving a car" (this is an actual quote from a liquor store clerk in Cuba, NM. He told this to a hiker friend of mine when he attempted to buy a six-pack on his rest day. Apparently in this strip mall of a town they only sell liquor to people who drive. As the explanation goes, Native Americans walk from a nearby reservation, buy a bottle of liquor, and pass out on the steps.
But wait, at least they aren't piloting a moving weapon!
3. "Hey kid, get a shopping cart variant" (insult hurled in my general direction in lovely Salida, CO, I wrote about this a few posts ago)
4. "Congratulations, you have been accepted to Northwestern University School of Law" (I had to put this in there)
5. "It's cool man, ill just take you all the way up there" (I've heard a variant of this from a number of drivers who most generously responded to the imploring of my desperate, dirty thumb as I'm trying to get to town. Oftentimes, I'd be taken to a locale completely out of the way of my rescuer.)
6. "You're walking where?" (Hear this a lot)
7. "You see, if you would just let us smoke pot on the bus, we'd all be asleep and I wouldn't be arguing with you." (A boisterous woman on the overnight Greyhound from Billings to Missoula. She was depositing used sunflower seeds all over the bus floor in an apparent act of protest that we weren't allowed to smoke anything on the drive. When asked by the annoyed, sagging bus driver why she was making the mess, this was her loud response. All of this took place at 2:30am. In the seat behind my own. Standing up for what she believes in. Quite the Rosa Parks that one.
8. Are you the one with the tequila? (An inquiry backed with surprising emotion by the mousey manager of the luxurious Melbourne hostel in Denver, CO. Asked to a very hungover yours truly.)
9. "Perhaps you should find a different hostel for tonight" (This quickly followed #8. I snuck back in and slept there anyway)
10. "It's time to play Cowboys and Muslims" (see picture. small town America has been incredibly generous to me. It's also a very very scary place)
......I will update this list as appropriate.